id be glad to
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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