so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
