I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
