Your mouth is God's brothel.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
