Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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