it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
