She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
