Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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