Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
