their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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