I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
