It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
