Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
