It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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