i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
