dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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