my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
