He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
