when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
