I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
