I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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