Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
