Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dear god my vagina.
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