dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
