you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
