And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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