sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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