Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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