Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
