i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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