I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
