I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
well you can't waste a boner
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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