You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
