please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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