man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
