Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
