You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
