Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
