If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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