I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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