I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
