So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
