absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
