That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
