I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
