she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
