your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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