some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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