I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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