my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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